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School Picture Day
School picture day was this week, which means in about a month we’ll receive an overpriced packet of photos and I’ll take down the old photos hanging in the kitchen and put up the new ones. I don’t want to take down last year’s school pictures in which my oldest has a cowlick, and an…
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Am I… not short?
At just under five feet six inches tall, I am taller than the average woman in the United States. But I am short. I am short because I live with a tall person. And let me tell you something about tall people: they love to place things up high. If the choice is between putting…
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Childproofing
One of the things that has surprised me about life with older kids is how quickly and easily our house stopped being childproof. I used to have this place totally locked down. Both kids were very curious and active. They climbed everything, opened everything, destroyed everything. It wasn’t that I loved the look of baby…
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Documentary Review/ McMillion$
A six-episode deep dive into human greed. This documentary series follows the FBI’s investigation into the McDonald’s Monopoly fraud. The fraud took place starting way back in the 1990s (when I remember collecting Monopoly pieces!), but the investigation didn’t get started until the very early 2000s, when a young, hungry agent named Doug Mathews decided…
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Tales from School, vol. 1
My youngest told a kid in his class that he sounded like a drunk boomer.
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Documentary Review/ Harley & Katya
Heartbreaking. I somehow missed this story in the news when it happened, so went in without expectations. But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where this headed when one key character’s present-day interview tape is missing. Harley Windsor, from Australia, and Katya Alexandrovskaya, fromRussia, were a pairs figure skating phenomenon for a few…
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A priest walks into a…
I crossed the street with a priest today and had these thoughts in this order: If I were a priest I would be constantly making up jokes because every moment of my day would be a humorous set-up. A priest, a fat lady, and a bicyclist are crossing the street… A priest walks into a…
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Meanwhile, in the real world…
It occurs to me I should write about actual things that are going on in the real world, and not just the things going on in my mind. In an effort to be a fun, active mom, I took the kids to a playground after dinner on Wednesday just like all the other fun, active…
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Unfair Assumptions
I get hassled for money sometimes when I’m walking around my neighborhood. Not every day, but frequently. I hate being asked for money. I lived in New York City for too long so despite being generally sympathetic towards humans who have fallen on tough times, I have zero tolerance for panhandlers and their bullshit. Now…
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Melted marshmallow
During the summer my kids sometimes accompanied me to the grocery store. They took this opportunity to lobby for ridiculous cereals that I never buy (“look, this one has less sugar than oatmeal squares!”). That is the story of how I ended up with both Rainbow Krispies and Cocoa Krispies in my cupboard. You should…