I hate parenting books–they make everything seem so dire.

“Keith’s parents were slow to respond to him when he cried as a baby so as an adult he robbed an ATM and is now in prison.”

“Taylor’s parents were always patient and kind to him. They knew exactly what to say and exactly what to do in every situation because they read our entire book series and used 100% of their bandwidth to implement all of our strategies. Now he’s a successful doctor raising a perfect family of his own with the same loving boundaries.”

I realize that parenting books have to make it seem dire in order to get our attention, but I wish they could drop the exaggerated claims.

If I wrote a parenting book, this would be my opening statement:

The fact that you are reading this is a sign you care, and your kid is probably going to turn out just fine even though you overreacted about the kinetic sand on the floor last weekend. The most important thing is that everyone is safe. The second most important thing is that you love the kid you have, not the kid you wish you had. The third most important thing is that everyone gets enough sleep. The fourth most important thing is that everyone’s emotions are validated and acknowledged. The fifth most important thing is that you don’t do their homework for them.

And that’s it: that’s my entire thesis statement on parenting so far.

Now, I do know that many of these points call for further description. How do you acknowledge and validate emotions without giving unnecessary power to them? It’s so tricky, and I am still finding that balance. How do you get kids to go to bed on time? Another hard one! I have read multiple books about this and it was still a struggle for many years!

Honestly, I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying, most of the time. I like to remember that this is my first time being a parent, but it’s also my kids’ first time being kids. We are learning together.

And I do think most kids are going to turn out okay, even if they aren’t getting enough sleep and their parents yell at them for having normal emotions.

I wouldn’t mind a nationwide ban on kinetic sand, though.