I was embarrassingly old when I found out that you could request alterations to your meal at any restaurant.

Like… really embarrassingly old. I’m talking post-college.

Yeah.

But what am I supposed to think if Burger King is going to use the tag line “Have it your way!” in their advertising? If it’s special that you can “have it your way” at Burger King, doesn’t that imply that you can’t have it your way at other restaurants?

One of the reasons I didn’t realize this until late in life is that I come from a family that never asks for alterations. Really! Every single one of us will go around the table and just order what’s on the menu. My husband’s family–on the other hand–always has a question to ask or an alteration to request. Are there mushrooms in the soup? Serve the sauce on the side, please. No pickles. Extra mayo. The difference in our family cultures in this regard is comical to me.

I was late to the game realizing I could make changes to my food orders, but I was also late to the game realizing I could even state my opinions about food.

It was 1995. My mom’s boyfriend and his son (or as I like to refer to him, my temporary stepbrother) were at our house for dinner. There was sourdough bread on my temporary stepbrother’s plate and he said “Oh, I don’t really like sourdough.” And then he didn’t eat it.

My mind was blown. It had not occurred to me until that moment that a person could state their negative feelings about food at the table and then refuse to eat that food.

I don’t know why, but I tended to eat whatever I was served. Was it my mom’s opposition to keeping good snacks around? Or was I just a particularly hungry child? I don’t know, but I remember sighing and finishing my bowl of split pea soup even though I would rather eat grass from the yard. I hollowed out a lot of stuffed peppers in my day, leaving a trail of sad bell pepper skins behind me. I still think I don’t like rice.

It pains me as an adult to relate these childhood complaints because having someone else cook for me seems like such a wonderful luxury now!

Anyway, like I said, I was a hungry child, so I don’t think I actually stopped eating anything after I had this realization. And I still don’t alter my food orders at restaurants even though I know I can.

“As it comes?” my husband will ask for clarification if he’s putting in an online order.

“Of course, as it comes!” I always say.

But someone still needs to explain to me how “have it your way” makes sense for Burger King’s branding if you can actually have it your way anywhere!