My essay about piano lessons got me thinking about extracurricular activities.

I do not like to be busy. I never have. When I was a kid my favorite thing to do after a full day of school was to go home. So when my mom would gently encourage me to try some new activity or–even worse–force me to participate, I was rarely enthusiastic.

Here is a list of extracurricular activities in which I participated at some point before the age of eighteen: Campfire Boys & Girls, dance, gymnastics, t-ball, basketball, piano, volleyball, cross-country running, track & field, some math competition thing I can’t remember the name of, MedClub, theater, and a bunch of random church stuff like confirmation class and doing reading or ushering.

I only lasted a season for most of these, with some exceptions. I did Campfire all through elementary school (I think?). I believe we only met once a month and mostly did arts and crafts projects and I enjoyed that. I stuck with gymnastics until 3rd or 4th grade (?). But I never played a sport for more than one season.

I just dislike sports so much. I am extremely unathletic, but also unmotivated by the excitement of competition or team spirit (perhaps because I am so unathletic?). And the time commitment was ridiculous. Practice every day after school and we have stupid fucking away games where I’m stuck on a loud bus for hours? No thanks!

Theater worked well for me because there was a cycle to it. I was never cast in a lead role, so for the first couple weeks I would only have to show up for rehearsal once or twice after school. There was plenty of downtime backstage and I could quietly chat with my weird theater friends while also doing homework. As we got closer to showtime my practice schedule would ramp up until the last two weeks when we were all there every day after school for hours.

This would be my breaking point. I would backslide on piano practice, and major school projects would be ignored. I would be stressed out and spiraling a little bit by the time we rolled into the full weekend of shows.

And then it would be all over. We would strike the set on Sunday night, I would arrive at school exhausted on Monday morning and that afternoon I would do what I loved most: I would go home. Every afternoon. For weeks.

Most people are not like me. I think most people like to have a few obligations on the calendar to force them out of their homes. They maybe find the gym tedious and prefer to be on a soccer team. They derive satisfaction from coaching the local middle school debate team or seeing their friends at choir practice. I respect this about people!

A lot of people enjoy the satisfaction of having accomplished something in their free time, but I enjoy the satisfaction of having accomplished nothing.

No, I take that back. I enjoy the satisfaction of playing piano alone in my house for an hour. I enjoy finishing a really long non-fiction book about the Romanov dynasty. I enjoy mowing the lawn at the cabin and not using the self-propel feature even once. I enjoy watching the Marble Olympics with my kids before bedtime, and going out for drinks with the neighbors on the weekends.

I think my personality just doesn’t mix well with extracurriculars. This is a bad look on paper, particularly when it comes to college applications and resumes.

But you know what? If I had another chance to do high school again, I wouldn’t do it any differently. I’m glad so many extracurricular opportunities exist for kids, and I know so many people who have fond memories of all those away games, but I have no regrets about the many afternoon hours I spent on the couch watching old Star Trek episodes on VHS.