We’re going to Disney World next month and instead of turning into a proper Disney Adult I’ve turned into a Disney Monster.

Ask me about my attractions spreadsheet. It’s color-coded and notes whether or not the queue has air-conditioning and if the ride is going to give me motion sickness.

Ask me how many times I have checked the current wait times for various Magic Kingdom rides today. (It is 11 AM in Orlando and the current wait time for Haunted Mansion is 45 minutes.)

And ask me how excited I am to meet Chip and Dale at EPCOT.

I just don’t know that my reputation as a cold-hearted, unexcitable, type B vacation planner is going to survive this trip.