One of the things that has surprised me about life with older kids is how quickly and easily our house stopped being childproof.

I used to have this place totally locked down. Both kids were very curious and active. They climbed everything, opened everything, destroyed everything. It wasn’t that I loved the look of baby gates and furniture anchors, but I loved my sanity and could not cook dinner and remove my child from the top of the bookshelf at the same time.

Going to other people’s houses–their not-childproof houses–was hell. We could not sit down or involve ourselves too deeply in adult conversation for fear of chaos and injury. I often wondered why people ever bothered to stop childproofing their houses in the first place. Just leave the furniture anchored! Leave the cabinets locked! I can understand taking down the baby gate but at least leave it in the nearby closet so you can reinstall it quickly in case of visiting toddler!

But here I sit in my house with all my electrical outlets just sitting wide open as if electrocuting small children is my favorite hobby. My kitchen cabinets open so easily even the cats can do it. We don’t even have a baby gate in storage; if someone showed up with a two-year-old right now I would be screwed.

I am mystified by how this happened. It’s like your youngest kid turns five and you let your guard down just a little and all the furniture anchors just unscrew themselves from the wall, pat themselves on the back for a job well done, and march off to the garbage can.