Have we ever discussed astrology?

I want to believe in astrology. I find it fascinating, and have been known to say things like “But you don’t seem like a Leo to me!” even when I have no fucking clue what a Leo is supposed to be like.

I have never read a book about astrology or even done any decent amount of research into the characteristics of the various signs. But if I come across horoscopes in the newspaper I am absolutely going to read them all, and read them to you if you happen to be in the room with me.

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers was complaining about something that happened at work, and she ended her story by stating “but that’s just how I am because I’m a Scorpio.”

Just today another coworker declared that his birthday was coming up and someone else shouted “Mine too! It’s Taurus season!”

I am obsessed.

I will happily tell you all the ways in which zodiac signs have influenced my life. I have a large number of friends who were born Pisces or Libra for some reason… is it possible that’s a coincidence? The coworker I work with most closely (and most happily) is a Virgo… just like my husband. I recently found out that an eccentric and entertaining acquaintance is a Cancer… just like my eccentric and entertaining sister…

I am a Sagittarius. This random astrology website tells me that I am “the ultimate free spirit: optimistic, open-minded, and ambitious.” It also tells me that I like “inspirational stories, international travel, dares, and flirting.” I do not enjoy “rules, routine” and can probably be found “organizing a talent show.”

See, I know it’s utter bullshit. I know it so much.

But also I identify deeply with my Sagittarius identity–so much so that I will not use my husband’s Virgo coffee mug in the morning, even if it’s the last one left because come on, a Virgo? Me?! YEAH RIGHT.

So I am here for the astrology-laden workplace chatter, and will bring my best Sagittarius self to this ongoing conversation. Ruling planet: Jupiter, bitches.