I play this stupid game on my phone called Gardenscapes.

It’s one of those match three games except with a bunch of bells and whistles and opportunities to spend real money to buy in-game currency. I downloaded it in June 2020, and have been playing off-and-on ever since. I am on level 4,351.

The whole point of this game is to get you to spend real money, and every time I play, I am confronted with a variety of spending options that would give me more moves or better abilities. If I spend, I win.

I never spend, and this absolutely infuriates my youngest child, who spends 100% of his own allowance on in-game purchases for Roblox.

“Just do it! It’s only 900 coins and then you’ll have enough moves to win!” he’ll shout and try to take my phone from me as I am once again defeated by a particularly tricky level.

I don’t spend the money because I don’t care if I win or lose. It wasn’t until this year when I noticed just how far along I was in the game that I realized the genius of this strategy.

By not caring if I win or lose, I have very slowly crawled along in the game and done pretty well for myself.

It makes me wonder if there are other parts of life where not caring is the correct strategy. It seems absurd. What if I stopped caring about parenting? Would my new chillness affect my kids in a positive way? Would we have more meaningful conversations because I wouldn’t constantly be trying to figure out the best messaging? Would it give them the space they need to blossom under their own power?

What if I stopped caring about meal planning and grocery shopping? Would I only plan and shop for meals that I want to make, and they would be extra good? Would my kids become more self-sufficient in the kitchen? Would we eat at restaurants more frequently and enjoy a wider range of flavors if also slightly more sodium?

What if I stopped caring about the election? That’s a joke; I already don’t care about the election.