Well, it’s been about two weeks since I shut down my personal Instagram and enacted new rules about watching TV.

I’m reading a lot more.

The first week was weird. I panicked at least once a day thinking that one of my favorite influencers had stopped posting and are they sick? Are they depressed? Are they okay? Then I remembered they’re probably still posting. I’m just not seeing it.

I just stare out the patio door now while I eat lunch. If I’m lucky there is some squirrel or bird action. If I’m unlucky I just consider the patterns on the patio stone. I sigh and wish someone would give me treats. I am turning into a cat.

That first week I did really well. My phone stayed in my pocket a lot. But it’s amazing how the smart phone acts like a gas to fill all the empty space. I’ve (mostly) removed Instagram from my life and all of a sudden I’m much more interested in reading the New York Times in its entirety. I keep catching myself endlessly scrolling through the dumpster fires of Reddit. I keep checking in on all the defunct blogs I used to follow.

Getting rid of Instagram (mostly) has been really good, but it is clear to me that I need to do better and I am considering my options. The trouble is figuring out how to carve away all the disease of the iPhone without losing the utility. I could remove Safari completely. But what if I’m out and about and need to google something?

And will the iPhone continue to fill the missing space? If I get rid of Safari will I suddenly find myself way more interested in the Goodreads app than any sane person has a right to be? Will I scroll endlessly through my camera roll looking at old photos?

I have some dread about the lesson I might be learning here. Do I have to throw the whole thing away to win my bandwidth back?