Pertinent to my Interests

Documentary reviews, body neutrality, parenting, Jupiter, piano, cats, European history, ghosts, rodents, the collapse of civilization, and if this goes on long enough I'll probably end up cataloguing my entire smushed penny collection.

What it’s like to play Animal Crossing for a year.

(If you do not play and are not interested in Animal Crossing I suggest you skip this entire post. I am going to write it as if the reader also plays ACNH.)

I’ve been playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons daily for almost exactly a year, like a sucker (who needs a real job).

I’ve done well for myself this year. I paid off all my home loans, achieved a five star island, and have every type of fruit. I own a large collection of stuff, am best friends with several villagers, and have completed the fossil section of my museum.

Wow, that sounds much more impressive if you think I’m talking about real life.

Anyway, Animal Crossing has been fun, but also infuriating.

Despite purchasing and donating art daily for the past six months there are still five pieces missing from my art museum. I’ve never even seen three of them offered! I still need three insects for the insect collection, and they’re all ones that only appear on palm trees in the middle of the damn night in the summer. I am not awake at midnight! Not in the summer and not any time!

The randomness of the game frustrates me more every day. Example: I have been wanting an upright piano for most of the year. Not once in the 365 days I’ve been playing has Nook’s Cranny offered me an upright piano. But the antique table and imperial bed seem to come up weekly! Why!

I’m having a similar problem with DIY recipes. I usually acquire three DIY recipes every time I play, but for the past couple months it seems that 90% of the time they are duplicates of ones I already have.

I know these strategies are all very intentional on the part of the programmers. Nintendo doesn’t want us to grind for bells for ten hours at a time, they want us to play slowly, a little every day. Well, that’s what I did! But I can see that in order to get and achieve All The Things I would need to do this indefinitely. And I don’t appreciate that. I have other things I want to do with my free time. Not like… useful things, but… you know, things. I think. I can’t remember what I did during screen time before Animal Crossing.

I would also like to note that I am a completely different person in Animal Crossing than I am in real life. Animal Crossing me enjoys changing outfits daily (she types from day three in her favorite sweatshirt). Animal Crossing me checks in with her animal friends regularly. Animal Crossing me buys all the things all the time whether or not she wants them or needs them. Animal Crossing me spends hours decorating the bathroom, and then more hours carefully planting flowers around the island.

And for those who are wondering, here are the museum items I’m still missing.

Art I Still Need:

  • Familiar Statue (The Thinker)
  • Robust Statue (Discobolus)
  • Amazing Painting (The Night Watch)
  • Warm Painting (The Clothed Maja)
  • Nice Painting (The Fifer)

Fish I Still Need:

  • Giant Trevally
  • Mahi Mahi
  • Barreleye
  • Giant Isopod

Insects I Still Need:

  • Scarab Beetle
  • Goliath Beetle
  • Giant Stag

Anyway, it’s been fun Animal Crossing, and I’ll always think of you fondly, but the heady early days of our relationship are long done; it’s time we entered the weekends only phase of our relationship.