I went on two field trips this week, one with each of my kids, because this is the sort of thing you feel compelled to do when you are an unemployed mother of two.

Actually, both field trips involved tromping around in the forest, and mid-December is, in my opinion, the perfect time to be tromping around in the forest, so I was happy to go.

Do you remember field trips in elementary school? I barely do. I actually hated field trips in elementary school because I never knew what to expect on them. I recall doing my best to get out of field trips several times, but I was always stymied by teachers and especially my mother who was aware of my desire to avoid new experiences. (I got better at field trips by late middle school.)

It was weird being back on a bus with a big group of kids, teachers, and chaperones. I forgot how being in school forces you to lose some individuality. The entire day is built around keeping this large herd of excited children under control. We had stupid rules that I, as chaperone, had to help enforce, like no picking up sticks. Who brings kids into the forest and then decrees that they can’t even pick up a stick?! I whispered to some of the fifth graders who were having trouble with this rule that I thought it was a stupid rule too, but we had to follow it or else we would all get in trouble.

Being part of a classroom of kids is like being part of an organism in some ways. We are all doing math right now. We are all lining up to get on the bus right now. We are all being reminded to use our quiet voices even though only two of us were actually being loud. The only place that adults are treated like this is in prison.

I am not saying school is prison. My kids’ school is great, and they like going every day. I don’t think they chafe under these controls because it feels completely normal to them. I liked school too, and I don’t remember feeling particularly oppressed by the crowd control mentality. But it was very weird to step back in time and experience it all over again. Twice in one week.