I was registering for an account on a website yesterday and they asked me for information about my occupation. There was an entire page of dropdown menus for filling in clarifying details about your job. I picked “homemaker” from the first dropdown and immediately every other question on the page vanished. Huh. No further questions, your honor.

But can I really consider myself a homemaker if we rarely have clean sheets and the recycling is always full?

I’ve been thinking a lot about maintenance lately, and the incredible amount of work it takes just to maintain a thing. This is true of houses, for sure. Who has time to deep clean the kitchen and organize the pantry when we also have to stock the pantry, and cook, and do dishes, and wipe down counters, and clean water bottles all the damn time?

But it feels especially true for people, and I am overwhelmed by the amount of maintenance my body and mind require. 150 minutes of physical activity every week, but it can’t just be cardio! You must do resistance training too, and don’t forget to stretch. Brushing and flossing. Going to the dentist and the doctor and the optometrist regularly. Meditation and therapy for mental health. Puzzles and word games to keep your mind sharp. And don’t forget how important it is to have a deep social network! You must maintain all friendships! And be sure to find a creative outlet or some other sort of hobby that gives meaning to your life. And spend less time on your phone. And spend less time watching TV. Make sure to get outside every day, avoid simple carbs and too much salt, oh and you are saving for retirement, aren’t you?

Oh, and if you have kids don’t forget to manage all of the above items for them too.

I, an unemployed person with ample time to waste writing in my personal blog, get up every morning and am overwhelmed by all the things the Well section of the New York Times is telling me to do in order to maintain my self. It’s just too much. How do employed people do it?!

Anyway, I’m a homemaker. I maintain some things successfully (daily cat litter scooping! yay!) and others not so successfully (regular dusting! boo!). I am also a human and I maintain some human things successfully (daily brushing and flossing! yay!) and others not so successfully (avoiding simple carbs! boo!).

But I guess the Charles Schwab website doesn’t care to know any of those details.